Happy Baby & Taegyo

When you hold your newborn in your arm right after the delivery, he can hear your voice and recognize that it’s the significant voice to him.  But can he see you well?  Well, more precisely, can he see you at all?  When he’s just born, his vision is blurry at best, and it will take a long time (6 to 8 months) for him to see the world as clearly as adults do.  (It’s said he will recognize you in a few hours after birth, though!)  Your newborn does not have good control of ciliary muscles, the special muscles in his eyes that enable his eye lens to contract or relax for focusing.  And more importantly, his brain is not fully mature yet to process visual information.

Still, you probably can’t wait for him to see this beautiful world you’ve brought him in – or less organized house with his stuff all around.  Won’t it be so cool that he can see you and realize that he’s got your eyes within a few days?  Well, that was my wish exactly, but as other baby’s development milestones, you have to wait for his eyes and brain to mature no matter how soon you want it to happen.  Yet, here is a book that I used to help him to focus on things better.  I don’t know how much it actually helped him to mature his vision, but I loved it because he loved staring at it.

Black and white focus book that my mom brought from Korea.

Studies show that high contrast  objects are more attractive and visible to newborns.  This black and white book full of repeating geometrical patterns are perfect to your new born because it’s easy to see.  It is also folding and you can show the panoramic view of 100% high contract world with cool patterns.

My baby loved this even when he was a month (still loves it because of its folding feature), and I believe it helped him to mature his eye sight better or earlier because he was able to see me x away when he was less than 5 months.

• High contrast
• Different geometrical patterns
• Folding features (panoramic view of patterns)
• Sturdy
• Rounded edges
• The hole in the first page also attracts babies’ attention.

If you’re not a Korean, Taegyo may seem a little too intense especially when you hear a pregnant woman should only eat top quality food such as fresh and seasonal fruits, or should not go to an old temple or a funeral.  Yes, these are some of more traditional taegyo practices, and they ARE more restrictive.  There are also more ardent followers of taegyo who would write a pregnancy diary (taedam ilgee), study a couple of foreign languages, or learn to play a new instrument on top of all the basic preparations for their baby such as decorating the nursery.  Does it remind you of spartan training  a little  bit?  Those are just more devoted to taegyo in every aspect, but not all moms can do that for various reasons.

These days Koreans focus on the taegyo idea than the taegyo rules or regulations.  A pregnant mom already has enough physical difficulties and mental pressure such as morning sickness, gestational diabetes, weight control, worries about birth, etc.  Pressure is the last thing that taegyo would lead.  The main idea of current taegyo is to provide pleasant and joyful environment for pregnant moms and their babies.

Just keep in mind these main points of taegyo attitude if you want to “ease up” and “customize” taegyo practices to fit to your life.

• Be proud of yourself for having your baby inside and doing something helpful for him!  It’s a wonderful gift from the nature that you can grow a baby inside.
• Make taegyo a part of your life.
• Always remember that your baby and you are connected.  When you’re happy, your baby is happy.  When you’re upset or depressed, your baby will feel that, too.
• Follow taegyo practices that you can easily follow.  What’s best for others are not always best for you.

I started my first taedam(talking to baby) with my son on the way home from Kaiser after the first appointment.  My husband and I saw him on ultrasound, and I was so moved by the little baby(!) of the black and white screen.  ‘Wow!  I AM pregnant after all these years of doubt’.  I couldn’t wait to see the little oval baby would become one that I could hold in my arms in nine months.  Yet, even with all that deep emotion, it was still a little awkward to talk to my baby that day.  It felt like that I would talk to myself and I don’t usually do that.

First Ultrasound Photo at 9 Week

I broke the ice between me and my baby with a simple joke.  I said, “My prescious Teuni(튼이), I coudn’t see your eyes today.  I hope you get bigger eyes from daddy, not mommy’s!”.  Teuni was taemyung(태명), a prenatal nickname that I gave him, meaning healthy.  It was shortened from TeunTeuni(튼튼이).  I told him that it was a little strange to talk to him but it would get easier and eventually feel natural.

After the first day, it did become easier.  Gradually I talked to him more and more.  And later I talked whenever I had moments; when I cook, clean, drive, take a walk, rest, do research about baby products and so on.  The topic was usually what I was doing or what I was thinking about.  Something easy and simple so I wouldn’t get stressed about it.  It wasn’t difficult to keep going on and on when I talked to him.  I realized that I can get very talkative when nobody stops me. =P

“Hello, Tuni.  I’m going to Galleria market in Northridge to get some Korean food and a phone card. I would  be so excited to see you having Korean dishes and soups that I make.  Of course, it won’t be anytime soon; you need to be born first, have breast milk for the first few months and some solid food without chunks such as rice porriadge.  Rice porridge is still a Korean food, but that’s not what we Koreans usually eat because there are more tasty and evil things to eat such as Korean BBQ.=P  I’ll promise you that I will do my best to make your first solid food, rice porridge delicious!  It won’t have salt but will have a special ingredient, that is, mommy’s love!”

Even though I was pretty chatting with him very often, I didn’t always talk to him when I was alone with him.  I enjoyed quiet moments, too, both for me and my baby.  I didn’t want it to be a some kind of duty.  The point is to enjoy while talking and to make the connection with the baby while talking.

I would’ve felt very close with him regardless taedam or no taedam, but I was certain taedam made me have the strongest and most special bond with him during the pregnancy.  Even in a busy everyday life after he was born, I still think about the prenatal talking that me and my baby used to have and get very emotional by the whole connection we made.  Of course, the bond still continues to grow! =)

First trimester

Your baby won’t be able to hear the music that you listen to, but he may feel how you feel.  Relax in a rocking chair with a cushion listening to music that you like and feel happy and joyful with the power of music.  Try soothing classical music, instrumental music, or meditation music.

• Bach – Aria in G
• Handel – Harp Concerto – 1. Andante Allegro
• Mozart – Piano Concerto No. 21 in C major K.467
• Robert Schumann – Op. 15 Scenes From Childhood, 1 Of Foreign Lands and Peoples
• Mascani – Cavallaria Rusticana

Second trimester

Try more rhythmic music in this trimester because now your baby inside can listen and react well to rhythms.

• Handel – Water Music : Suite No.11 in D major, HWV 348 (Alla Hornpipe)
• Johann Josef Strauss – Pizzicato Polka
• Johannes Brahms – Violin Sonata No.1 in G major, Op.78 “Regenlied”

Third trimester

In the third trimester, it’s believed that a baby in the womb can remember sounds that he frequently hears, so pay more attention to your repertory.  Choose music that has natural flow of changes yet still calming.

• Tchaikovsky – the Nutcracker op71a Waltz of the Flowers
• Fritz Kreisler – Liebesfreud
• Vivaldi – Op.3 Concerto L’Estro Armonico
• Saint-Saens – Carnival of the Animals 13 Swan

Talking (Taedam)

Talking to your baby is considered one of the most important taegyo practices and the easiest to follow.   Not only it’s believed to stimulate development of your unborn baby’s brain cells but is also a great way for you to bond with her.  At the beginning, you might feel weird to talk to her without seeing her in person.  But she’s there inside you, listening to you!  Once you get used to it, you will probably become very chatty with her talking about almost everything!

Reading

You can decide your baby’s favorite books for now (she might refuse your list once she knows better).  Besides the benefit of your baby’s listening to your voice, reading books to her is believed to help her emotional development.  And you can start to work on the “project” to get her a good sleeping habit with the books like “Good Night Moon” or “The Going-to-bed Book”.  It’s also a great way for your baby’s dad to participate in taegyo.

Books don’t always have to be for the baby in taegyo.  If you’d like to read Dostoevskii‘s The Brothers Karamazov, or New York Times best sellers, go for it.  It will take a LONG time till you will have time to read books for fun again!

Listening

Yes, listening to classical music including Mozart is big in taegyo.  It’s believed that musical rhythms stimulate a pregnant mom’s brain, which could affect her baby’s development.  Yes, many people talk about the Mozart effect, but there is no rule of right regarding which music to choose.  It doesn’t have to be classical music.  In general, soothing instrumental music is recommended because it helps a mom feel relaxed.  But you don’t have to limit the kinds of music to listen to as long as they are not extremely loud or they don’t have depressing lyrics such as suicide.  Enjoy old country songs, jazz or pop music if that’s what you like.

Taegyo also suggests enjoying the sounds of nature such as bird singing, stream flowing,leaves rustling in the wind and so on.

Eating

You might want to deny that your baby inside you completely relies on your diet when your partner is having a nice margarita next to you.  You wish to drink the same cocktail or a plain shot of tequila to forget discomfort or anxiety caused by pregnancy.  But it’s the truth that a pregnant mom cannot avoid, and taegyo emphasizes that what you eat directly affects your baby’s development, too.   To your baby, the 280 days inside your womb are the most significant time for her growth, and healthy and nutritious food should be absolutely the top priority.

Smiling, Laughing

We all know laughing is good for your body and soul.  So why not for your baby?  When mom is happy, baby is happy too.  Laughter practice helps you feel joyful and strengthen your immunity by creating the endolphins, and helps baby develop positive emotions.

Exercising, Breathing

Regular exercise during pregnancy not only helps a pregnant mom to stay healthy but helps the baby’s development.  When the mom exercises, the baby will get more oxygen which helps her brain development.  One thing you should be careful about pregnancy exercise is not to over-exert yourself.  You’re not running a triathlon – some day your body will be somewhat ready for it after you raise your baby – but for now you’re growing a baby inside you.   Yoga or walking is a great exercise during pregnancy.

Traveling

Traveling is often accompanied with stress even when you’re not pregnant, and many pregnant women avoid traveling for this reason. But when it’s well-planned, it’s a great opportunity to release your pregnancy stress if you have any.  Even if you’ve not been stressed at all during pregnancy (how lucky you are!), it’s always fun to visit new places or re-visit some of your favorite places.  Your baby will feel your excitement, joy and relaxation during your trip.

If you’ve been in charge of packing for the past trips, ask your baby’s dad to do it this time.  There will be lots of packing in the future, and it will be so helpful for your partner to know how to do it efficiently, for example, packing a diaper bag within a minute.